It’s ok

When you finally say those six scary words 
Quietly, out Loud
To your best friend
As you lie on your back
In the dark,
Your fear is a presence
“I think I might be gay”
I want to wrap you in my love
Give to you
The strength of my heart
And say,
“It’s ok”
When you’re terrified of losing your family,
Friends and Life
And the sentencing of your Soul
To eternal hell
Makes you cut your own skin
To feel a separate, easier pain,
As a way to face your fears
I want to pull you behind me
Protect your heart
As a bear guards her cubs
And say,
“It’s ok”
When you slosh through the dregs
Of your Religion
Feeling the power of your Faith,
Once unshakeable,
Slip from your grasp
Because you can’t, no, you won’t, lie
About your basic truth
I want to take your trembling hands in mine
Pass to you
The peace of my soul
And simply say,
“Valiant girl, it’s ok”
When you search for a loophole
In the Damnation
Laid out in one verse after another
But find judgment
Instead of Grace
And always more questions
Even the ministers cannot seem to answer
I want to look deep into your clear blue eyes
Cry for you
The tears of absolution
And say,
“Brave seeker, it’s ok”
When you turn to other sources of wisdom
Searching for Peace
Blazing your own beautiful path
To unshakeable truth
And you find solid ground
Among the trees and the poets
Amid the philosophers and stars
I want to lie next to you on the warm summer ground
In the dark
Crying in awe at the grandeur of the universe
And, soft as a whisper, say,
“See? It’s ok”
When you stand your own ground, fast and firm
In your Truth
And you won’t back down
Or accept an inferior brand of love
The scarlet sound of
“I love you anyway”
Because you don’t need Forgiveness for being yourself
I want to cheer for you
Scream myself hoarse
Praising your fierceness, bravery and courage
And say,
“That’s it! It’s ok.”
When you sit with a counselor digging still to
Find your Worth
Leaning into the pain
In search of freedom
From a lifetime of doubt and shame
And you finally say those words, out loud,
“I’m proud of who I am”
I want to sing with a choir of angels
“It is well,
It is well with my soul”
And hear you say,
“I’m ok”
When you look in the mirror on a
Fitting room Wall
And see yourself, Whole
And feel compassion and love
Replacing all the doubt and the shame
And you gently say those words, out loud
Affirming my worth, “I see you”
I want to wrap myself in your love
Finally feel warmth
That heals my broken heart
And I’ll say,
“I’m ok”

Print a copy of this poem here.

Evening Ritual: Cull & curate your daily photos

Most of us take photos all day and then barely look at them again. We “capture” so much of our day, taking multiple photos from every possible angle of everything in our lives from our food to our kids to our pets and our clothes. But out of all the photos we take each day, how many are actually worth keeping? 15 percent? 10?

The irony in this age of obsessive photo taking is that it is actually really hard at the end of the day to remember what happened. Have you ever actually tried to mentally walk back through the chronology of your day? Unless you practice, it’s very hard to remember what happened and when.

Here’s a simple evening ritual that will take 5-10 minutes and will enhance your memory of your day while also keeping your life less cluttered.

Continue reading “Evening Ritual: Cull & curate your daily photos”

Closet Cleanout Guide

Cleaning out your closet can give your style a boost. It can also help you live more authentically.

Personal style is an evolution. We all have clothes that we used to love but no longer suit us. The ghosts of butches past stare back at us from the hangers and shelves of our closets. Oh, look, there’s sporty tomboy butch from college. And there’s awkward fat business casual (hidden) butch from my first corporate job. Many of the items we hold on to are no longer useful or they no longer represent the person we are today.

In this post, we’re going to go step by step (day by daaaayyyyy-ayyyyy for my fellow 90s kids!) through a closet cleanout. In just a few hours, you’re going to totally renew your wardrobe. And, because clothes are important, this closet cleanout project is going to give you the chance to live more authentically. Let’s get started.

Continue reading “Closet Cleanout Guide”

Now is the Perfect Opportunity to Be Indispensable

Our lives, culture, and society are changing with every day that passes right now.  As our world struggles to respond to the COVID-19 pandemic, the patterns and habits we are accustomed to are rapidly shifting.  For many of us, these shifts include major changes in our workplaces.  

Continue reading “Now is the Perfect Opportunity to Be Indispensable”

Shame is 2 Sizes Too Large

I recently headed to my local JCPenney store to take advantage of their winter clearance sale and snag some new sweaters. 

I thought my current sweaters were simply wearing out and stretched.  I thought their casual shape was just baggy, and I felt uncomfortable wearing them, and I wanted to get some new ones to replace them.  I grabbed my size (an XL) and headed to the ladies dressing room hoping I could dive in without anyone seeing me and telling me I was in the wrong area.

I made it in without incident, but was immediately disappointed: the XL was like a dress.  The sleeves were nearly 8 inches too long and the whole garment just bagged off of me. What the hell?  XL was my size.   

Continue reading “Shame is 2 Sizes Too Large”